Namaste

I have just returned from the gym and, while I was there I decided, for some reason unbeknown to me, I decided to do a yoga class.

I haven't yoga'd for some time and, like the horrors of childbirth, I had forgotten, over time, why I said Yoga and, for that matter, birthing might not be for me, But why? It's yoga. It's good for you right?

Firstly, I have always felt a little at odds with placing my hands "in prayer". I don't pray. I have never prayed. Im not religious and, being in a room with a very supple lady wearing a loose legged trouser and an jangley anklet is not going to make me any more inclined. I’m instantly transported back to having to recite The Lord’s Prayer during school assembly; head bowed, mumbling away until, finally, the Amen moment when you were permitted to turn your gaze upward once again. It just felt wrong. Looking back, I had no idea why I was doing it and so, as I have not one ounce of spirituality in me, I felt somewhat fraudulent.

The “namaste” moment at the end of class is equally triggering. I feel duplicitous. As it turns out, I was so right to feel so wrong. It transpires that the word "namaste" is actually a Hindu greeting of deep respect, nothing at all to do with yoga and definitely not a farewell … that is until us westerners appropriated it and decided that we can use the word however we darn well wish.

It turns out that the way we have hijacked and commodified the word namaste is actually considered by many as highly disrespectful. Let’s not get into the logoed yoga merch “Namaste away from me/ Namaslay/ Namaste Bitches” emblazoned on everything from water bottles to T-shirt’s. So wrong on so many levels.

So, Yoga then. How much do we really know apart from that it's good for you.

I thought it time for a little deep dive.

Yoga, according to some, is a philosophy, a religion, an ideology or, indeed, a complete lifestyle- I’m talking long tresses, spiritual tattoos, meat free, comfy shoes and a strong attachment to patchouli oil. Practised by millions for centuries, yoga is actually an ancient form of spiritual meditation and was never intended as an opportunity to out-bend the person next to you and, in that, there can be no criticism; meditation has long been shown to improve mental health. The infamous Gandhi was a renowned Yogi but not because he could perform the perfect Tripod Headstand; his practice was in fact Karma Yoga, or "selfless service to others".

Not a back bend in sight.

Most people on this side of the Prime Merdian line practice Hatha Yoga (postures) but there so many more: Bhakti for example is devotional/chanting and Jnana is devoted to knowledge and study. In my experience though most westerners don't jump onto the mat because they want to get closer to their spirit animal.

Know Your Limits

Yoga was first practised in India, by local people, who, ordinarily, even when not practising yoga, could move in ways we could only dream of. Squatting on the heels and sitting cross legged were a part of daily life. Audibly groaning when rolling off the sofa are the preserve of a very different culture- we spend the vast majority of our day seated: in a chair, in a car, on the sofa and so we are, fundamentally, physiologically unable to use our bodies in the same way.

It makes sense, therefore, that sporadically attempting to contort our lordotic, stiff hipped weighty bodies into near impossible poses once a week seems somewhat foolhardy but ...it's yoga, it must to be good for you.

I Am Identifying As A Spiritualist Demigod … You? #Look at Me

True yoga is supposed to be an ego free zone but then nobody saw the oncoming juggernaut that is social media hurtling along. Another fly in the aromatherapy ointment. “Yoga Everyday” challenges, 24/7 look@me opportunities and incessant prompts to demonstrate how limber you are can be hard to resist until, that is, you realise you are as brittle as a 100 year old arthritic hip joint. Having worked in the fitness industry for over 3 decades I have lost count of the amount of people I have come across injured doing or, more precisely, over-doing, yoga. Detached hamstrings, herniated discs, hypermobility and ruptured Achilles’ to name a few. I, myself, suffer from tendonitis in my hamstrings due to literally being pushed into positions that, despite being able to perform, my body did not approve of. Why did I allow it? My instructors told me I could do it and I was flattered to be singled out.

Show Me The Money

To qualify as a yoga teacher the average course is only 200 hours, but at the time of writting it is not a regulated industry so Bendy Brenda from number 14 can send out some fliers, lay down her yoga mat in the local church hall, light some incense sticks and start her own cult if she so fancies. Ironically the vast majority of people that turn to yoga are doing so because they’re injured or older, thus carrying with them a whole raft of additional issues which despite her good intentions, Bendy Brenda, might not be able to deal with.

The Answer My Friend…

Rule 1 - Rule 1 is always the same; don’t be an idiot. Take personal responsibility – yoga is not about stretching your sinews until they are gossamer thin but about doing what feels right. Any instructor that suggests you push beyond that should be, at the very least, ignored. Nothing should ever be forced; relationships, keys …. backbends. Check your instructor and ask how long they have been teaching. I’m not ageist but, logically, as it takes years of practise to become a yoga teacher, if their skin still has the flush of youth about it, I would find myself a wrinkly guru in another studio.

Rule 2 - ….this is just my opinion here but don’t do yoga in an effort to become more flexible, stronger, fitter or slimmer. Yoga is a form of meditation. Any movements or postures are there to further challenge you. Meditation is the goal of yoga and the postures are a means of enhancing the capacity of the mind so that a person can sit in meditation for long periods without being distracted. If you want to stretch, do a stretch class. I, for one, love a really good old stretch, but I simply cannot meditate. I feel like a total fraudster. I don’t see the purpose and I just sit/lie there like a naughty child peeking out under my eyelids waiting for my cue to move again. I have been told many times that I need to learn to "stop my thoughts" and "be in the NOW”. The trouble is I can’t do “The Now”. I have trouble with the mere concept of “The Now”; I’m a menopausal woman so several days can pass me by before I realise that “The Now” has even happened.

Meditating actually stresses me out and so I have made peace with my racing mind.

I like it. It's mine.

You, as they say, do you.