Send In The Clowns

Young adults have, by tradition, always gone out of their way to create their own style. Our Millenials seem to adopted their own trademark look by way of the Fuzzy Felt eyebrow … what on earth?

Which prankster, I wonder, started that particular niche make up technique?

Obviously, I’m old school and I wake up with my eyebrows already on my face but this has gone, I fear, beyond a joke. My own eyebrow care consists of tweezers to eradicate hair where I don't want it and a pencil now so short I can barely grip it, to colour in hair where I would like it to be.

Modern day eyebrow paraphernalia is a thing of wonder : gels, cakes, waxes, combs and, who would have thunk it?… “thickeners” (Jeez who wants thicker brows for lords sake?) are amongst the plethora of items at your fingertips. There are brow bars on every corner of the street offering all manner of services: dyeing, plucking, waxing, threading and something called microblading which I believe to be similar to inline and roller but not sure what that has to do with your brows.

Eyebrows are now a £20 million pound industry in the UK. I still, though, don’t understand it. To my shame, I have laughed aloud at total strangers whilst trying to take in the sight of these new facial features. So, please stop.

Call me old fashioned but it goes like this; you have an image you are trying to create, you attempt said image, you look in the mirror and you can see you have failed. If your eyebrows have taken over your face/ are 3 inches thick/ have actual right angles on them etc…Take them off people! You have failed. It’s ok to fail but only if you learn a lesson from it. It is really not ok to go out in public like that.. Think of the children!

I have trawled the interweb looking for the culprit and it turns out it may have been the unwitting Cara Delevingne. Her brow was placed there by Mother Nature herself. If you have taken to using a black Sharpie to emulate the look then you my friend should take a good hard look at yourself.... literally.

Poor Ms Delevingne has found herself an unwitting muse for this outbreak of hirsute foreheads and she must feel desperately guilty, but it's not her fault.

Please don't do it.

Think of Cara.

It does not stop there though, oh no!

Contouring? …. this is going to take some explaining but think colour by numbers with brown paint and glitter and you are almost there.