The Diary of Kim Hawley aged 48 and a bit…actually quite a lot.

Lockdown Day … Ermmmm ....Sunday.

9am

So today’s the big day. Our erstwhile leader BJ is due to announce at 1900 hours, how lockdown measures are to be lifted. According to advertised tv schedule the next program starts at 1910 so he has either turned into a very concise orator or the excitement over the aforementioned announcement will be horribly anti-climactic as he clearly has nothing much to say. Shall post update at 1911.

Popcorn at the ready

The world though has stalled.

All wandering what to do.

All the leaders seem to be looking slyly at eachother from across the borders as if they’re trying to sneak a peek at the others’ work. Oh … except America.

Mr Trump has just freestyled it. Seemingly getting it wrong at every turn but stylin it out the next moment as if he said nothing of the sort. Got to admire his confidence. There is, they say, a fine line between genius and insanity and Donald is so far over that line that it is simply jaw dropping.

BJ update 1900 hours and a bit......

Ok. So, big announcement is over.

Not really very exciting. Total damp squib...super moist in fact.

BJ said we can now exercise (cheers Boris) as much as we like. We can also go to the park and sit on benches… or on the floor. As long as we don’t mix with people.

On the plus side, BJ looked like he has hired a stylist. No longer rocking the “dishevelled toff” vibe. Now on course for “full blown toff”

Therefore, after some doubt about it's future, Home School will be opening as usual tomorrow morning; under new management. The Head Teacher was let go on Thursday on grounds of her mental health. The newly appointed Head Teacher is hoping to implement a new system to keep her pupil on track.

Pupil will be on a progress reporting system under which she can, on demonstrating good attitudes to learning, earn exciting privileges such as tv, Skype calls and sweet treats.

My pupil would sell her granny for a Kinder Surprise. Sorry mum.

#BraceYourselves