The Diary of Kim Hawley aged 48 and a bit…actually quite a lot.

Lockdown Day … is it 39? Can I phone a friend?

Go Me!

Finished another cracking book today.

Ordinarily, the only thing I ever read from beginning to end is the cooking instructions on the back of packets as god only know how many things can go wrong with a Pot Noodle. No, the annual holibobs are my usual allotted reading times but Lockdown has at least given me a reason to read…now that we have finished Netflix anyhow.

In order to do this I have had to lose the old mother’s guilt and basically let the youngling run feral. To my interminable shame she is now an expert on Tik Tok. To my even greater shame I have spent inordinate amounts of time guffawing with her at random videos of pets lip syncing over Lizzo songs and entertaining hand clapping routines. I’m fairly confident though that sure she washed recently and she's eaten something.

Home school is still open I hasten to add. We have not been, contrary to rumour, been closed down by the council. Although not sure why.

Today was a heady mix of liberated free thinking and total chaos. I wasn’t keen on her assigned English lesson so got her to write a her own story, which was a huge success. Conversely, Maths was more confusing than normal as, not only did she not know how to convert fractions, neither, it transpires, did I.

My initial confidence on the subject rapidly diminished as it dawned on me that I had no clue. Not a glimmer. I did a fantastic slight of hand though, distracting her with PE. My goal is, quite simply, to devise as many games as possible that involve her repeatedly running up and down the stairs as many times as I can get away with. Our job, as parents, even in precendented times, is to keep our children out of harm and to ensure they are tired enough to go to sleep when required. I made a nifty assault course utilising half a roll of masking tape.

I feel smug.

Glad the day ended so well otherwise that tape could have utilised in a very different way.

Today was Thursday and that means we Clap for our Carers. This is always an uplifting moment and has become a landmark of time; every week, when this day comes round it’s always a gobsmaker as, as boring as this all is, it is unfathomable how quickly the days pass when you’re busy doing nothing.

Oh and Captain Tom Moore celebrated his100th birthday. He has now raised over 32 million squid and, joyously, has been made an honorary Colonel for basically being a gosh darned legend.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY COLONEL TOM ! 🥂